Have you ever noticed the glare you have when you enter a room? Not the warm glow of the approval of the gowns, or the admirable eyes of a gentleman, who give you all the appreciation.
I'm talking about the other feeling. Sense of judgment, hostility and displacement. It comes from a woman. Usually one with a partner in the neighborhood and, more often than not, is a person you consider a friend.
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I had it, I hate it and I could write a book about it.
Let me put you in the scene for you
It's a great night for you. When it comes to your diet, you were practically a nun, this week, keeping it strictly healthy. You have avoided any form of food that can leave you swollen or the sky to ban gas to complement your chosen equipment.
The costume is selected to boast your body. It hugs your hips in the right place, allows ladies to sit up nicely because of the new bra that you choose and choose a color that can be bold but looks good on your skin.
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You spent time on your hair and makeup, and the expensive perfume scent would be hurt when you first handed the credit card, but the smell made you a mood.
Let the house feel like a million pieces
You're dressed to knock you and make your feminine energies feel alive.
Do not do this for anyone other than you. You want to look at how you feel. As a responsible woman. Sexy. Able. Conscious of his goods and without fear of showing them – physically or otherwise.
Hop in Uber and go to the ball. I mean … party.
There is no doubt that entering a guest room can be even scary. Are you alone. Again. However, you are reminded that you are happy in yourself. Draw your shoulders back, put your biggest smile and try to bring energy into the room that we hope is contagious.
Take the first step and you are greeted by beautiful friends complimenting your outfit, laughing with you about something that has happened recently and introducing you to someone from the group you've never met.
Things are going well.
WHY YOU ARE GREATER OF "FETE"
These are the friends you regularly came out to meet with others.
Get "joking" of your tits. – Look, Jana pulls her tits again. You laugh because you're polite. You laugh because you suddenly feel weird. You laugh, but that little self-worth that you took away from the front door, you dragged yourself back into the cave.
Other comments are made in a sarcastic tone. "Are you trying to make yourself Jana tonight?" And "Babe, you will look with them, you will let them away." Laughter laughter.
You suddenly feel exposed and crazy and you are not part of the "group."
You go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. I look like a whore? Do I try too much to attract attention? Start asking yourself something that later will feel so trivial, but for tonight, it sits on your shoulders like a terrible weight.
Maybe a bunch.
Why do we feel the need to make a woman CLEAVAGE BUTT JOKE?
It's 2018, and the need for shame for women is, I think or not, stronger than ever. What's worse is when women do this with each other.
One of my closest male friends likes to quote often, "There is no one who hates a woman, like another woman."
Has a point? Why are we in one asset and feel the need to draw everyone's attention to it?
The thought that a comment can reduce a woman to one part of the body can make you upset if you think too much about it.
I have been studying hard and I have a university degree. I tried to win my dream job and saved to travel to the most amazing places in the world. They're not my tits, I'm just something I like.
I also saw my aunt pass by breast cancer, and last year I saw my mother battle with horrible illness and I went out on the other side.
So I chose to wear dresses that highlight a good that I like. A good I probably do not have forever.
It is OK to have a part of the body we are proud of. Some are their eyes, their feet or their big lips.
So why do you need people?
It may be fun to make a stick stick and take some chuckles from the passers-by, but women with larger assets are fighting regularly.
At work a few years ago, after a trip to Europe, I was asked to show my holiday photos. "No, no, not tourist attractions," said a tall person in the company, "I want to see the pictures titled" Those of you in a bikini by the pool ".
The uncomfortable laughs were divided and I had a choice. I'm laughing over time and not causing a fuss? Or do I call him, please apologize and possibly be overlooked for another position, because I was the "whore who could not take a joke"?
I chose the first option.
IN THE WORKPLACE, THE WOMEN ARE NECESSARY LOW VOLUMES FOR LOADING
Elsewhere, big breasts can make dressing for a tough event. If you wear something free to avoid highlighting your tits, the fabric tends to stand on them and make you look bigger. If you wear tight fabrics around your tits, look more loud in your waist and form a more flattering silhouette.
However, it provides the perfect feed for body crawlers.
So what are we doing? Hide and become invisible?
No way! No matter what your size. If you are proud of your breasts, regardless of their size, it is your right to do whatever you want.
Just be prepared to grow a tougher exterior.
Jana Hocking is a radio producer. She co-hosts podcasts and podcast hangars. | @janahocking
This story originally appeared on whimn.com.au and was reproduced with permission.