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Garda's informant wife, Maurice McCabe, said she was afraid her husband would commit suicide on false allegations of sexual assault.
Mr. McCabe, who officially left the country last month after being justified by a corruption probe, said the allegations "have completely changed" his family life.
During an interview with RTE, former Sergeant Garda recalled the moment when he heard of the accusations and how he told his wife.
"I needed help, but it was not there." Whistleblower: The story of Maurice McCabe tonight, 9.35 @rteone #Whistleblower pic.twitter.com/b1KOj9Mrvu– RTÉ (@rte) November 12, 2018
"I put all the children in bed and I told Lorraine in the living room and I broke up," he said. "She hugged me and she cried out and so I told her."
Lorraine McCabe said, "I knew it was wrong, but it did not make it easier. I was afraid she would take her own life.
Mr. McCabe, who faced unfounded and false allegations of a sexual assault, was praised in the Charleton Tribunal report last month.
The Tribunal for Disclosure found that former Garda commissioner, Martin Callinan, is part of a "slander campaign" against Mr McCabe, helped by his former press officer, Commander David Taylor.
Mr. McCabe said that a girl's allegations, known as D, "have completely changed our family life."
"I never drank the children or washed them," he said.
"I would not be here if they were visitors with their children, I would always have something to do or somewhere to go."
If I had to know what was happening to me then, I would never have done it
After an investigation of the claim, a file came back from the prosecutor's office.
"What really turned out was that they said there was no sexual assault or assault, and I think it was the key. There was no murder.
In the interview, which was broadcast Monday at RTE, Mr. McCabe said that if he knew from the outset his abuse he had suffered in order to lift the cover of corruption in Garda, "he would never have done it ".
The father of the five, who joined An Garda Siochana in 1985, took the role of sergeant in Bailieborough in Co Cavan in 2004.
There he raised complaints about the current police standards.
Eventually, he led his resignation as a sergeant and marked the beginning of a series of allegations against him.
Mr. McCabe reminded how he became isolated and ostracized within the force to simply do what he saw fit.
He said, "What we are hoping for is that the issues I have reported are being investigated and that I will return to Sergeant-in-charge and would say, yes, I was right to highlight these issues.
"If I had to know then what was with me, I would never have done it."
Mrs McCabe said she was afraid when she "went into deep water."
"He just pushes things too far," she said. "It would not be me, I would have gone."
In the two-part documentary, Mr. McCabe and his wife also detailed how he became the victim of online abuse in the form of "obscene" photographs by former colleagues in Garda on social media sites.
They said they were aware that photos of a plastic rat that had been penetrated by darts outside the service were posted online, with his name written under them.
Mr. McCabe said, "They had a plastic rat and showed them to miss their darts, and they also showed obscene sexual gestures to the rat, and under the photographs was the word" Maurice. "
"Then it was a" bitch eating rat chest "comment below.
Ms. McCabe, who described her photos as "ugly" and "awful," said she gave them an indication of the level of animosity her husband faces.
"He gave us a complete sense of feeling about him," she said.
"I remember that I was just on my way and I came home after an afternoon, just going up in the car, and thinking," Lord, as if it were a lovely house, the gardens are wonderful, everything looks great, if you only know the disorder that was in. ""
The marriage of the couple has also become a target of Garda rumors.
"A colleague of mine in Cavan Monaghan called me to say there was a rumor that I left my wife," reminded Mr. McCabe. He told me exactly who said the rumor (Garda).
"I confronted him a few days afterwards, saw him on the street, pulled it and told him" I did not leave my wife "and said," Oh, somebody came to the station, said that. "
"I said," you should have checked this before you spread it. ""– Click on the Association
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